Today I’m going to share with you some of my thoughts on humility. What it IS, what it is NOT and what are some of its benefits as outlined in the introduction to my audiobook It’s Not All About You! The Secret Joy of Practical Humility. Hope you find this useful!
Dear reader:
I didn’t write this book because I’m so humble, but because I need humility as much as anyone. In fact, I sometimes think that if my ego applied for statehood it would become the fourth largest state in the union – right after Alaska, California and Texas!* However, there are other times – times which are growing more frequent — when I feel in touch with a humility that is slowly transforming me from the neurotic, selfish and self-centered egotist I can be when I’m “in self” into someone much better. For when I’m feeling humble, I am at peace with the world. I’m relaxed, confident and loving. I’m thinking about how I can be a blessing to others instead of focusing on myself. Humility grounds me. It helps me appreciate life more. It keeps me from worrying about what others think of me.
But what, precisely, is humility? I’d like to propose the following three-fold definition:
1. Humility is not thinking too highly of ourselves, too low of ourselves, or thinking about ourselves too often. (What we’ll call Traditional Humility)
2. Humility is accepting everything you don’t like about life that you cannot change. And
3. Humility is being grateful for everything you DO like about life.
It’s Not All About You! focuses on paths that lead to “traditional humility.” Separate books on Acceptance and Gratitude are in the works.
Now let’s look at What Humility is NOT
Humility is not weakness. Being humble doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you. Dr. Martin Luther King was a humble man of God, yet he stood up for African Americans. Pope Francis is humble, but he fights for human rights. Jesus was humble, but He took a whip and kicked the money changers out of the temple for making “[His] father’s house a den of thieves.”
No, humility is not letting others mistreat you. For doing so not only hurts you, it hurts them as well. It is entirely appropriate to respect your own boundaries while helping others learn the important lesson that they should respect other people’s boundaries too – as long as this is done out of love.
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Now that we know what humility is and what it is not, let’s briefly discuss some of the advantages of attaining more of it.
Let’s start with a simple equation:
First off, humility is better than happiness and happiness is better than money. Let me explain. People want money because they think it will make them happy – which it may or may not. Therefore happiness is more important than money. Humility will definitely make you happier, as we will see, but it will also make you a better person, which will make others happier and God happier.
While humility (or the lack of it) has been central to my life, you may not suffer from the same problems I do. You may never be anxious or depressed, self-centered or egotistical, self-conscious or selfish. If you’re wondering how humility can help you, ask yourself which of the following statements are true for you:
I want to enjoy life more than I already do.
I want to be healthier – both mentally and physically.
I want to live longer.
I want to have deeper, more meaningful relations with my family and friends.
I want to be less concerned about what others think of me.
I want to be less selfish.
I want to be more secure and confident.
I want to have a better marriage.
I want to have a better love life.
I want to have better relationships with the people I work with.
I want to get along with my mother-in-law without hiring a hit man.
I want to please my Higher Power.
I want to be a better person.
If you said “yes” to any of these statements, this book is for you. If you’re thinking that everyone would want these things, that’s because It’s Not All About You! was written with a very specific audience in mind: People who want to live happier, more fulfilling lives.
At this point you’re probably thinking: “Now seriously Dan, how can humility do all of these things for me?”
Look out for the next post when we’ll break down how humility can change your life for the better! Thanks and God Bless